Tips on making your family a happy family
Family is the vital building blocks of every civilization from the Stone Age to Information Age. “A happy family makes a happy society”. Everybody wants to reside in a happy family, as family is the place where human beings find the completeness of life. Contemporary families often face multiple relationship matters which have appears as contribution of the conservers changed lifestyle and les intense relationships.
Livelihood in a joyful family is vital to mould each and every human being into conscientious social beings. Home and relations are places where children and elders live with a feeling of protection and also places of sharing, be in love with care and concern. reciprocal understanding, adjustments and worship creates the indestructible bond between family members and if taken care of certain aspects, any family can be made a joyful family.
Creating a happy family is easy but only it requires just an interest and spending time and using of intelligence to nurture love, to assist communication and to make each feel contented and secure.
Some of Important inevitable building blocks that make a happy family are mentioned below:
Always Be There for Each One in the Family:
Presence or availability is the most essential bonding factor that enhances the family relationship. Parents should be available for kids in each of their needs and similarly the couples each other. It should be with the family that each of the family members spends most of their time. Never take the work stress or other unwanted tensions home. As you step into the home, the prior concern should be home only.
Find time to talk to each of the members and arrange activities for the entire family to take part. Family prayers, cooking, watching television, outing etc., are perfect family activities to make a happy family. Family should not be considered a place to just rest after the work and eat the food.
Show without shy the Affection and consideration:
Many people say that they love the family and when it comes to the action they remain unexpressive and quite. Family is the place one learns the basics of love, affection, warmth, encouragement and sharing. Express your affection and attachment towards other members in family with gestures, action and words. Telling just the three words 'I love you' makes others understand the depth of your concern for them.
Do not miss an opportunity to be affectionate with the spouse and kids. Let the entire family move on experiencing a warmth feeling. Unexpressed love is equal to no love at all. Encouragement is another important aspect that boosts the happiness and affection in the family. Be lavish enough to encourage the family members in all their attempts and even for the minute successes.
Always communicate regularly and effectively:
Communication is the key to build a jovial family. Be positive in your communication within the family and truly, the positive communication is the language of love. Talk to each other in the family frequently and designating family together times every day is helpful to this purpose. Even between the spouses, talking eases the tensions and promotes the attachment. Never argue or shout at each other unnecessarily. Family should be a place everyone wants to be with always.
Custom of love and admiration:
Experts say that family rituals are mandatory to maintain the relationships. There are specific practicable family rituals same as religious or national. Weekly outdoor dinners, monthly pleasure trips, family songs, visiting relatives, family cooking day etc., are some of the family rituals that are helpful to bind the entire family with the strings of affection. Such activities are also called rituals of honor as they help each of the family members to understand each other and learn to honor them.
Be caution with Clashes, Blames and irritations :
Parents should be cautious to not fight before the children and blame each other for mistakes. Horrifying expressions of anger is also equally destructive. When one of the family members makes the entire family life worse with such negative expressions, others may feel family as a disliked place to be. When parents fight before the kids, they are, in fact, teaching the kids with a wrong lesson of communication. Children of fighting parents may become rebels and antisocial in the future life.
Equality is the Best Quality
Considering each of the family members equal and not being partial to anyone is the best qualities a family member can posses. When everybody in the family is considered equal it boosts the confidence, security feeling and affection. Accept the opinions of everyone in the family when family related decision are taken and facilitate mutual respect among family members if you wish to convert your family into a happy family.
Ways of Fostering the Affection in Family
Affection and love in the family is quite nature and must to have elements to promote the harmony and positive growth of the family. It is the deep affection that makes parents inclined to the sacrifices of growing up kids, perform household activities and meet the financial requirements. If the affection factor is absent no one would have lived dedicatedly for the family.
The affection obligates parents to take pain of looking after the kids and similarly, kids to love and obey the parents. Constantly nurturing the affection in the family is essential to keep the bond of love between the members of the family strong. It is the unmatched affection that creates the belongingness in the family life.
The affection expressed within the family is not benevolence but a commitment. Verbal expressions of affection, quality time spend with the family, gifts, mutual services, affectionate touch etc... are the most advised modes of nurturing the affection in the family between the family members.
Lavish expression of affection is the best way of fostering it. Verbal expression, physical expression etc., helps the affection to be conveyed to others and also to encourage other members of the family to follow the same. Verbal expression of affection means telling others how you feel about them and how much you love them. Anything said to make them feel loved, or validated can be called the verbal expression of affection.
Appreciating, concealing and complimenting helps others understand the depth of concern you feel for them. Apart from the verbal expression of love, there are certain physical expressions too, to foster the affection between the family members. Hugging them, kissing them etc., are common physical expressions of love and affection.
Spending Time Together
Spending quality time together is an obvious method of nurturing the affection among the members of the family. Such occasions are opportunity for every member to know each other, listen to each other and share with them and care for them.
Involving in any family activity with an objective of nurturing the relationship and developing the affection may be helpful to bind the people together in love. Eating together, outdoor games and walks, storytelling, gardening etc., are examples of family activity. Quality time means spending the time effectively so that it will help others feel more affectionate and attached.
Helping each one in family unconditionally is a way of increasing the affection between the members of the family. Helping the kids in study or helping wife in kitchen can arouse a feeling of love. If you want your family to be remained most attached always, then do not miss any opportunity to help them. Even trivial services like helping a child to fasten the lace of the shoes may foster the attachment element.
Many people commit the mistake of helping the family members with certain conditions like 'if you do that to me, then I will help you with this'. This is the wrong way of dealing and behaving with the members of the family. Let the help be unconditional, if you really wish to gain the love and respect of them.
Experts say that an affectionate touch nurtures love and attachment among the family members. Physical touch is always positive and it helps transferring the emotion and feelings between the family members. Physical touch, here, doesn't refer to a sexual overtone. When it comes to the aspect of touch between the spouses, sexual touch is essential, but between parents and kids or between siblings the physical touch means a hug, kiss, or just a patting.
Actions like hug, kiss, patting, shake hand etc., directly convey how you feel for them and care them. They are well appreciated ways of expressing affection, especially in the family. Kids get great encouragement and confidence from a proper physical touch of affection. It also conveys a nearness of the dear ones and availability of them in need.
Stress Management in Family
tress is a common phenomenon in life and even a newborn baby may experience stress of certain kinds. Stress begins from the womb and follows a person to the tomb. No one can resist stress and the only possible way of resisting it is to undergo it and learn to manage it. Stress in family can get more highlighted than any other stresses, as family is the union of people who are bound to love, and affection.
Any kind of stress felt in the family can affect each one of the members and also the entire jovial atmosphere of the family. Each one of the family member lives in various situations and it is possible that any one of them undergo stressful situations any time of life. Stress is an unpredictable element of life, though precautions work to an extent, learning best ways of stress management is the only solution to avoid the after effects of stress.
Let us see the ways of stress guarding the family in the most successful way:
Learn to recognize stress:
Stress is an invisible emotion as it doesn't have a specific form of expression. Stress is more or less an abstract emotion and gets expressed with the help of many other negative emotions. Also, there is no a single common expression corresponding to stress. A person may get angry when he/she is stressed; another one may break into tears and yet another person may feel depressed.
Each person may develop his/her own mode of stress releasing and expression. Family members should know each other well and also should learn the ways of expressing the stress. Only if you learn the mode of expression of each person, you can understand who is stressed out and who not.
Dealing with Stress in Children:
Elders may control stress within a limit and also might have developed own ways of limiting the expression of stress within the boundary of social acceptance. Kids also feel stress at various situations. The academic learning demands, friendship struggles etc., may make them stressed out. Family is the only place they can flow out the tensions freely.
When kids act in strange ways, or show angry; then parents need to understand that there is some stress lying underneath the minds and they are just expressing it through resistance, defense and anger. Teach kids that stress is a common emotion and also let them be trained with the methods of dealing with it. Proper understanding of life situations may help children to take stressful situations lightly.
Stress of Spouse:
In a family life the partners may have to share every emotion equally. When your spouse is tensed out of certain issues you may not just stay away from him/her and isolate the person to be more stressed. When the tensions shared, they get reduced half the way. If you feel that your spouse is undergoing certain stress, create a feeling that you are always with him/her and try to understand the reason for stress by communicating with the person in a soothing way.
Do not blame or shout at the person for getting into the stressful situation, even if it is the mistake of the person. Tell him/her that such occasions are common in your life and advice the ways of leaving it behind. You can also do certain favors to the person by cooking some food for him/her or doing some of the works which is bound to the person. Let the person be calm and quiet, away from disturbing works and talks.
Family Stress Relief Activities:
When the entire family or a particular member is stressed out, you can introduce some family activity that can ease the situation. An outdoor dinner is an excellent idea for helping a person to release the stress. Family outings, cooking, outdoor games, camping etc., may ease the situation and divert the attention of the stressed person into something interesting.
When you feel that a member in the family is stressed or tensed, do not leave the person unattended or isolated as it may make the person suffer more and get into unwanted expressions. Introducing a better health plan is essential to avoid frequent stress among the members of the family.
WHAT EVER IT MAY BE... THE FAMILY IS ONE AND ONLY TRUE WELL WISHER OF YOURS. DON'T LOOSE IT WITH YOUR ILLUSIONS
- By Karthik.KG