Friday, 21 June 2013


Our Parents are the ones who brought us into this world. But not all parents are the nicest people. Here are some tips to be happy with parents and make our life fruitful.

Respect them as much as you can. Take a deep breath, then walk away to cool off. Try not to look as upset as you really are.

Do your best not to antagonize them. If you offend them, tell them you are sorry and that you regret your actions towards them.

Try to reason with them. If they are not letting you do a few things such as going out with friends, school dances etc., ask them why you cannot attend and explain why you think you should be able to. If they agree, willingly tell them what you will be doing, what you would need, and the time you'll return by. Decide a curfew together and stick to it. 

Try to earn their respect by doing well at your studies.
Even if you know that what your parents are saying is mean and totally unreasonable, hide the fact that you know and don't bring it up to avoid the consequences.
If your parents' behavior is really bothering you, maybe it is because you aren't thinking about their side of the situation. Being a kid or teenager makes you angry at the world sometimes, and makes it easier to point out other people's flaws instead of realizing yours. 

If your arguments become physical, tell an ADULT!, not a friend. Friends will blab, no matter how close you are, and you don't want to hurt anyone's reputations. Tell an adult you trust EXACTLY what happened, and don't just say, "I hate my parents, they're so mean, they did __________!", but say in a very stern, un-bossy, calm and yet urgent voice, "I am having some serious troubles with my parents that are becoming physical and I need your help because I am not comfortable with it," or something along those lines. I am sure that the trusted adult will work with you and maybe your parents as well to find a successful, long-term solution to your problems.

Do not get into a situation where you are trying to earn their love, that is not something you should have to earn, you do not have to impress them for them to treat you in a respectable way. Always listen and take what they say as a tip for the future.

If your parents still won't budge, you can talk to another relative such as a brother, sister, cousin, auntie, uncle, grandparent, friend of your parents or any trusted friend.

Sometimes people with disabilities, especially hidden ones such as autism and Asperger's Syndrome do need to be supervised a little more than others. This doesn't mean they are treating you like a baby or being mean to you, it's because they need a little more care than others and that they love you and care for you, as people with autism/Asperger's Syndrome can be too trusting and naive, which can make them very easy targets for teasing, getting into trouble, difficulty and bullying. An example of naivety is when a person with Aspergers think that everyone is their friend and they don't always realise when someone is a true friend or a backstabber (nice when the person is present, but nasty when the person is absent) and they cannot always read body language. For example, they don't always know whether a person is telling the truth or lying and another example of naivety is when someone is asking you questions as people with Aspergers cannot always tell whether someone is asking them in order to show concern and be friendly and when someone is being nosey.
Understand that everyone has to deal with their parents.

Once in a while everybody has a bad day. Don't let your feelings out by giving your parents a hard time. A good way to do that is to keep a diary. It will make both you and your parents feel better.

try to help them and tell about your life.
  • There's a difference between being grumpy, stressed, and downright abusive. If you feel you are in an abusive situation, tell a trusted friend or adult, seek help, and seek a safe place. Find counselling if possible.
  • Make sure you know how to keep your cool to avoid large consequences.
  • Violence is NEVER the answer.
It's often hard for parents and children to spend time talking to each other. Parents often think they are over-stepping their boundaries while children often think their parents may not be interested in what they have to say. Some simple steps can help you achieve better communication.  

Find something that interests both you and your parents. You may have a thing for classic rock or Frank Sinatra that they share, so talk about it. Or perhaps you and your dad are both into sports. Then talk about the game last night, or the game at school. You will find that the conversation will come easily between all of you.

If you have a regular dinner time each night, try asking your parents about their day. You can be amazed at how easily they will open to you, with this simple question. Remember, that you have to open up to them also. Tell them what happened at school, or the new friend you met. Mention the new movie at the cinema, or the new book you saw in the bookstore; that you think your mom might like. They will reply, and soon all of you will be engrossed in a good 'give and take' conversation.

When they talk, look at them so that they know you are listening. Don't act bored, or like you're not interested or they probably will stop talking, and walk away. Let them know you think that they have fascinating things to say by responding to what they say.
A good conversation starter can start by watching a television show together. Often topics depicted on the show transcend to every day life, especially teen issues. Some of these include teen pregnancy, suicide, and rape, so don't expect the conversations to always be light and fluffy. Ask them questions about anything you need to know about any of these things, and watch the conversation flow.

If all this fails, you can always try telling your parents how much you enjoy being with and talking to them. Parents tend to give teenagers too much space sometimes. Remind that even though you are not a little kid anymore, you still need them for guidance.

Ask them for advice, talk to them about things that bother you, and mention things that others do that disturb you. By opening up, you will be 'friends' with your parents, and conversation will come easily.

  • Little words count. A "thank you" warms their heart and makes them feel fulfilled.
  • Little things count. Never forget to give them small presents just to let them know you remember them.
  • Mornings can be a rush, but you should never be too rushed for a good morning hug, and an "I love you" as you rush out the door.
  • It's fine to disagree on things. All best friends do. But respect what they have to say.
  • While your parent prepares dinner; set the table, so that you are both doing something in the kitchen together. This makes it easy to talk, especially about the new "dreamy guy or girl" in school, that new movie, or a friend you met.
  • And when they think they are correct on a topic, just say ok and let it go. Its easier than picking a battle with them. You both are not always going to be able to agree on everything that goes on in Life.
  • Have open forums at least once a year, on or hours before New Year's eve particularly.
Be Patient. If you and your parents have not developed good communication skills in the past, it might take time for them to feel comfortable talking about themselves to you.But, they are your parents and after all you should feel comfortable talking to them about anything. They love you and want to help, most of the time!

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